ABOVE: Me, hospitalized for my most recent heart condition and stage 3 emphysema
My friends, my apologies for not having posted here in quite some time, but my life - both spiritually and physically, have been on a proverbial roller-coaster the past several months.
Ever since I gave my life to Christ on July 13, 2007, I talk to Him every morning after waking up (as well as reading Scripture), and do the same each night before going to sleep. How do I talk to Him? I talk to Him in the exact same way I'd talk to anyone who was physically with me. For example, this blog. Although I can't see any of you reading this, I know that you are reading it - and therefore, I'm 'talking' to y'all.
When a Christian talks to the LORD, that is just having a conversation with Him, telling Him of your fears, worries, emotional battles, etc, and even telling Him when things are going great in your life with no worries or problems and so on, and thanking Him for His blessings - regardless of your current situation - that is the real definition of prayer.
Now, as I said, personally speaking, it seems that in the past several months my medical problems, specifically, my emphysema, is getting progressively worse (now at a stage 3), this despite meds and having to take breathing treatments with my home nebulizer and portable PROAIR HFR inhaler every 2-4 hours as opposed to every 4-6 hours just 5 or 6 months ago. There is no cure for emphysema - it's progression can only be "slowed down," as my doc told me. He also mentioned that it's more likely than not that I will be on 24/7 portable oxygen within a year. Additionally, I have diabetic neuropathy in my left leg and feet, and have now developed a diabetic ulcer on my left outside toe as a result of an ingrown toe nail that got infected. Presently I am treating it with antibiotics. However, if those fail to heal it within a couple months and/or if the ulcer gets worse, my endocrinologist says I will have to undergo a diabetic amputation of the toe before the ulcer spreads to my entire foot - or left leg.
Couple those problems with the fact that it may still be another year or more before my SSD is approved as well as the balance of my individual unemployability (IU) claim that I have with the VA (I am currently service-connected disabled at 70%), and the IU will boost me up to a 100%. Will our 'nest egg' be deleted before either of them are approved? Only God knows.
Now, I tell you all this not to gain sympathy - or even empathy - but to explain my Christian faith. Now, I'd be less than honest if I told y'all that I have not been worried about all this. I'd be less than honest if I said I get so damn depressed at times that I actually pray the LORD would just call me Home. Maybe also being diagnosed with clinical depression has something to do with it also - or more likely than not - it's SATAN!
You see, Satan tempts us, as opposed to God - who tests us, that is, He tests our faith in Him. The way I look at it, is, He gave me ten toes - if he wants a few of 'em back - He has that right. Ditto with my feet or legs - or my entire body.
Now, as I said, I talk to Him as well as read Scripture every day. At times, however, I will concede that I can't help but feel He isn't listening, isn't there when I talk to Him, or just doesn't give a hoot. But then, I recall the story of Job, where God, in order to prove to Satan that Job's love, faith, and trust in Him was genuine and not based on all of Job's riches that God blessed him with (as Job was a very wealthy - and healthy - man) - God allowed Satan to take away Job's health, his riches, and even his family! When all these tragedies came upon Job, his own wife told him, "Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die" (Job 2:9). But Job replied to her, "Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" and, "In all this did not Job sin with his lips" (v. 10).
And, in the end, Job's faith remained intact, Satan lost, and God fully restored Job's health and family, as well as giving him TWICE as much wealth as he had before, for his faith in Him!
My friends, believe what you will, but there have been too many times in my life where it seemed as I was in a downward spiral, and just before I felt like I was going to 'splatter on the ground,' God swooped me and my family up with His Hands. Because although with our finite minds, we saw absolutely no way out - God does have a purpose for what He allows in our lives - and I can personally attest to the fact that what He may take away with His left hand, He will replace with something better with His right hand - IF, we are true believers and do not allow Satan to crush our faith in God - and God alone!
Hebrews 11:1 tells us, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
As I talked about my worries with one of my counseling profs online via a private student chat, he reminded me that perhaps no other component of the Christian life is more important than faith. We cannot purchase it, sell it or give it to our friends. So what is faith and what role does faith play in the Christian life? The dictionary defines faith as "belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof." It also defines faith as "belief in and devotion to God." The Bible has much more to say about faith and how important it is. In fact, it is so important that, "without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him" (Heb 11:6). Faith is belief in the one, true God without actually seeing Him.
Ephesians 2:8-9 makes it clear that faith is a gift from God, not because we deserve it, have earned it, or are worthy to have it. It is not from ourselves; it is from God. It is not obtained by our power or our free will. It is simply given to us by God, along with His grace and mercy, according to His holy plan and purpose, and because of that, He gets all the glory!
I was also reminded by my prof that God designed a way to distinguish between those who belong to Him and those who don’t, and it is called faith. Very simply, we need faith to please God. God tells us that it pleases Him that we believe in Him even though we cannot see Him. God loves to bless those who are obedient and faithful. We see a perfect example of this in Luke 7:50 ("And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.") Here, Jesus is engaged in dialog with a sinful woman when He gives us a glimpse of why faith is so rewarding. In 1 Peter 1:8-9 we are told, "Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls."
So, without demonstrating faith and trust in God, we have no place with Him. We believe in God’s existence by faith. Most people have a vague, disjointed notion of who God is but lack the reverence necessary for His exalted position in their lives. These people lack the true faith needed to have an eternal relationship with the God who loves them. Yes, our faith can falter at times, as mine has, but because it is the gift of God, given to His children, He provides times of trial and testing in order to prove that our faith is real and to sharpen and strengthen it. This is why James tells us to "count it all joy" when we fall into trials, because the testing of our faith produces perseverance and matures us, providing the evidence that our faith is real (James 1:2-4).
Now, as I just mentioned, I'm as guilty as the next Christian of lacking faith in times of trials. But here again, that's Satan at work in our lives, planting the "fear" seed, and to take our eyes off of Jesus in order to completely eliminate our faith in Him. But, my friends, faith and fear cannot exist together! It's like mixing oil and water. Paul exhorts Christians to "walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7). What we see here is a contrast between truth and perception—what we know and believe to be true and what we perceive to be true. This is where the Christian struggle with a lack of faith finds its basis. The main reason why so many Christians struggle with a lack of faith is because we follow our perceptions of what is true rather than what we know to be true by faith.
Now, before going any further it may be helpful to come up with a working definition of faith. Faith, contrary to popular opinion, is not “belief without proof.” This is the definition that many unbelieving skeptics give for faith. This definition reduces faith to mere fideism – i.e., “I believe despite what the evidence tells me.” Skeptics are right to reject this concept of faith, and Christians should reject it too. Faith is not belief without proof, or belief despite the evidence, rather faith is a complete trust or confidence in someone or something. That trust or confidence we have in someone is built up over time as they prove themselves faithful time and time again. It is based on faith in God and in His Son, Jesus Christ. God has provided us with His Word, the Holy Bible, as a testimony of His faithfulness to His people all throughout history.
So, the main reason we struggle with faith is that we don’t truly know the God in whom we profess to have faith. In our daily lives, we don’t trust complete strangers. The more intimately we know someone and the more time we have had to see them “in action,” the more likely we are to believe what they say. But if God is essentially a stranger to us, we are less likely to believe what He has said in His Word. The only cure for this is to spend more time in God’s Word and simply talking to Him and getting to know Him.
And, not to sound redundant, but the world, the flesh, and Satan (as well as his demons), often distract us. By “the world” is meant the accepted “wisdom” of the unbelieving world and the culture in which we find ourselves. For those of us living in Europe and North America, that dominant worldview is naturalism, materialism, skepticism, and atheism. “The flesh,” refers to our sinful nature that still clings to Christians and with which we struggle on a daily basis. Satan and his horde of evil spirits who excite and entice us through the world and our senses. These things all afflict us and cause us to struggle with faith.
Again we are told by the apostle Paul, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Rom. 10:17). Our faith is built up as we continually read and study God's Word.
Lastly, recall when I said that faith and fear cannot exist together. Well, faith is an absolute belief that God is constantly working behind the scenes in every area of our lives, even when there is no tangible evidence to support that fact. On the other hand, fear, simply stated, is unbelief or weak belief. As unbelief gains the upper hand in our thoughts, fear takes hold of our emotions. Our deliverance from fear and worry is based on faith, which is the very opposite of unbelief. We need to understand that faith is not something that we can produce in ourselves. The Christian's faith is a confident assurance in a God who loves us, who knows our thoughts and cares about our deepest needs. That faith continues to grow as we study the Bible and learn the attributes of His amazing character. The more we learn about God, the more we can see Him working in our lives and the stronger our faith grows.
I know that God wants us to know Him and completely rely on His direction in our lives. It's through the hearing, reading and meditation in the Scriptures that we begin to experience a strong, confident faith that excludes worry and fear. Spending time in prayer talking to God and quiet worship develops a relationship with God that sees us through even the darkest of nights. In the Psalms we see a picture of David, who, like us, experienced times of fear. Psalm 56:3 reveals his faith with these words: "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalm 119 is filled with verses expressing the way in which David treasured God's Word: "With my whole heart have I sought thee" (v. 10); "I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways" (v. 15); "Thy word have I hid in mine heart..." (v. 11). These are revealing words which speak wisdom to us today.
My friends, God understands our weaknesses and concerns, but He requires us to go forward in faith, and the Bible is clear that faith does not mature and strengthen without trials. Adversity is God's most effective tool to develop a strong faith. That pattern is evident in Scripture. God takes each one of us through fearful situations, and as we learn to obey God's Word and allow it to saturate our thoughts, we find each trial becomes a stepping stone to a stronger and deeper faith. It gives us that ability to say, "He sustained me in the past, He'll carry me through today and He'll uphold me in the future!" God worked this way in David's life. When David volunteered to fight against Goliath, he said, "The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the Lord be with thee" (1 Sam. 17:37). David knew the God who had sustained him through dangerous situations in the past. He had seen and experienced God's power and protection in his life, and this developed within him a fearless faith.
So, in my specific case and with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and fellowship with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was directed to God's Word, and reminded that the Word of God is rich with promises for us to take hold of and claim for ourselves. When we face financial trouble, Philippians 4:19 tells us, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." If we are anxious about a future decision, Psalm 32:8 reminds us that God "will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." In sickness we can remember that Romans 5:3 says, "but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience." If someone turns against us, we can be comforted by the words in Romans 8:31, "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"
Throughout life we will continue to face various trials that will cause us fear, but God assures us that we can know a calm peace through every situation, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:7).
So, when y'all are facing personal trials in your lives as I am, and Satan starts to put that "fear factor" in you - tell him to go back to hell with his minions! And start talking to your Father - GOD - and immerse yourself in Scripture. What God's plans are for myself and my family regarding my medical, financial, and other concerns, I don't know. But...I do know that my faith in Him, although it may still be attacked from time to time by Satan, he will never take it away!
"Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done" (JESUS CHRIST - Matthew 21:21).
Until next time, my friends - May God Bless and keep you all